Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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