3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
