I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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