you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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