dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
