so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
