So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
