So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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