FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
