He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
