i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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