Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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