She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dicks are not precious.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
