Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Randomize
