wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
