He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
