I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
