I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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