a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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