Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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