Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
