I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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