I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
