And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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