When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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