hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
