my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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