I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
