i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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