tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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