Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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