her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
