Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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