just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
