he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
