awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
