no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
