so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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