Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
