My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
