he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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