Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
