I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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