He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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