either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
organizing the empties. That sober.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
