He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
