That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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