Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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