One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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