he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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