I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
