I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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