Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize