so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
