singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
