Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
