got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
