i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
