but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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