I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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