just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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