Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
