i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
