yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
