my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
